Is the fear of feedback unique to me?
As the first half of 2024 ends, the evaluation season approaches. Many people with a timid nature feel anxious during this time. What if I receive the worst evaluation? The fear of having my weaknesses pointed out is daunting. A famous management expert once advised to focus on maximizing strengths rather than fixing weaknesses. However, if you don’t strive to overcome your weaknesses, they may catch up with you eventually.
When I shared these thoughts in a gathering, most people empathized. It seems that humans inherently fear feedback because others’ evaluations are hard to predict and control. Receiving and giving feedback regularly can make it more predictable and help improve weaknesses through advice.
So how can we accept feedback? In this article, I will share the methods and thoughts that helped me overcome weaknesses and grow.
Ways to Acknowledge Weaknesses and Grow
To effectively accept feedback, you must first know and accept your weaknesses. Here are some methods I have applied. Although these are personal experiences, feel free to adapt them to your situation.
1. Creating Multiple Identities
In the Harry Potter movies, there is a magical object called a ‘Horcrux.’ Voldemort’s life is split and contained in several pieces. Even if some of them are destroyed, Voldemort doesn’t die. This made me think of human identity. A person deeply immersed in one field may find it hard to recover if they face despair in that area. Splitting identities into multiple areas might be safer.
It’s often advised to separate your work self from your personal self, but realistically, this is difficult. If you get hurt at work, it affects you at home as well. Therefore, finding areas to immerse yourself in and splitting your identity accordingly is essential. For example, engaging in hobbies after work or participating in study groups.
2. Keeping Feedback Visible and Reviewing It Frequently
Once you’ve acknowledged your weaknesses through feedback, it’s time to improve. Since others’ evaluations are hard to predict and control, narrow the range of unpredictability by receiving feedback at short intervals as soon as a weakness is found. Write down the feedback in a visible place and review it often. Using post-its or a personal blog works well.
For instance, if you received feedback about working alone too much, not engaging in small talk, or reducing perfectionism and sharing ideas more often, you should strive to initiate small talk and share ideas with team members.
3. Getting Confirmation from the Feedback Provider
If you’ve set specific methods for improvement and practiced them, get confirmation during the next feedback session. Share the efforts you’ve made and listen to their opinions. This isn’t about making excuses but overcoming the limits of metacognition. Others’ eyes are more accurate in judging if the problem has been truly improved.
Embrace the Possibility of Further Growth
In reality, it’s difficult for anyone to be indifferent to feedback. But if you can’t avoid it, you might as well enjoy it. Think of it as bitter medicine that’s good for your health and try to absorb the nutrients. You can turn the evaluation season into a positive time. After several rounds of feedback, you’ll learn and grow significantly.
Finding solutions to improve is a crucial element of continuous self-growth. Being able to improve through feedback is a positive thing because it holds the promise of a better future. Over time, feedback becomes less scary and more of an opportunity for growth.