We encounter various types of people in our daily lives, and among them are those who are particularly unfriendly. Whether it’s a colleague, a family member, or someone you happen to meet temporarily, their unfriendly behavior can often ruin your mood. However, rather than outright rejecting unfriendly people, it might be wiser to understand their behavior and find ways to protect yourself.
1. The Reason for Unfriendliness: They May Have Never Experienced Kindness
Unfriendly people may often have never been treated kindly or may be surrounded by others who are unfriendly, so they might not even realize that they are being unfriendly. For them, unkindness is normal, and they may not see kindness as something particularly necessary. The unfriendly environment around them might explain their behavior to some extent.
2. Fear of Being Seen as a Push-Over
When someone is kind but is met with rudeness in return, it’s natural for them to become disillusioned with kindness. Those who have been taken advantage of or exhausted by excessive requests after acting kindly may naturally adopt unfriendliness as a defense mechanism. They maintain an unfriendly attitude to protect themselves.
3. People Who Aren’t Even Kind to Themselves
People who are harsh on themselves find it difficult to be kind to others. If someone neglects self-care and works relentlessly, they may not love themselves enough to extend love and kindness to others. Instead, they might immerse themselves in work or other activities to protect themselves, leaving little room to be kind to others.
4. People Who Are Fearful
Fearful people find it hard to open up to others. They may have experienced abuse, fraud, or betrayal in the past, or they may find it difficult to trust others, leading them to act unfriendly. Their unfriendliness can be a form of self-defense. Rather than using kindness as a shield, fearful people might use distrust to protect themselves.
5. People Who Want Attention
Sometimes, an unfriendly attitude can be a strategy to draw attention from others. According to Adlerian psychology’s ‘teleology,’ they may act unfriendly to attract others’ attention. By behaving this way, they aim to capture the attention of others and make their presence known. It’s a pattern similar to how children sometimes misbehave to get attention from their parents.
6. People Who Are Dissatisfied with Life
People with a low quality of life who cannot find satisfaction in their daily lives find it hard to be kind to others. When they lack energy or are psychologically unstable, they may not have the capacity to care about others. Those who are dissatisfied with life may use unfriendliness as a way to protect themselves.
Conclusion: Our Attitude Towards Unfriendly People
When dealing with unfriendly people, it is important to understand where their behavior comes from. Understanding the reasons behind their unfriendliness can change how we respond to them. There is no need to let their unkindness ruin your mood. Instead, it may be better to view them with compassion and focus on protecting yourself.
Next time you encounter someone unfriendly, try to understand their emotions. Their unfriendliness may be an expression of inner conflict or fear they are dealing with. Practice understanding them while also guarding your own emotions, leading to a more positive life. Do not react to unfriendliness; instead, gain the wisdom to protect yourself.